Fancy – 04/May/2022

Hello fellow comrades of this prison planet. The sun is actually shining today and the birds are chirping. That is some serious shit in these parts. Energy levels are about to be through the roof. Makes me think about getting outside and hiking, running, walking, climbing, cycling, etc. Have you ever needed to get some gear for your outdoor excursion, but were turned off by the outdoor store experience? Me too.

Last week I went to the local gigantic outdoor store with an acronym, let’s call it E.I.R. I needed to grab a tent, sleeping bag, water bladder, and rucksack rain cover. Before I even got into the store I was greeted by a feeling of communism in the air. Prius, Land Rover, Range Rover, Toyota Tacoma, Jeep; these were the vehicles in the parking lot. Mixed in were a couple Mercedes and BMW’s. All of the vehicles had bike racks and top racks for canoes. All had various left wing stickers; Bernie 2016, COEXIST, Keep your hands off my uterus, Earth First, Not my president, Equality, United Nations, War is not the Answer, etc.

As I got out of my car I could see people with dreadlocks and birkenstock sandals, older women who were really in shape with ironic outfits, bearded skinny guys with short shorts; and 70% still wearing a mask outside. I wasn’t looking forward to going in. As I got closer to the building I was informed that this building was “really sustainable” and had lots of different types of recycling bins for my every need. A masked up woman entered before me and didn’t hold the door open as she scowled back at me and my unmasked children. Wow, I think this might be my last trip to this place.

Once I was inside, I would say about 50% employees were wearing masks, and they seemed to be quite helpful and normal seeming. The only issue were the patrons. Older women and men perusing the $150-$300 pants section. “How can I look like I love the outdoors without having to actually go outside?”, one might say. Everywhere I went in the store the older women and men were giving me ugly looks and wondering how I could be in the same space as them. “I thought this store was a safe space, free from scary men,” another might say.

Overall, I found what I needed and got the fuck out of there. The stuff in the store was very expensive, the mood was one of privilege and exclusivity, and the scowls were priceless. Next time I think I’ll try Goodwill or the Army surplus store. Less hassle and I won’t feel like I’m about to be pummeled to death by ANTIFA while shopping for hiking gear.


Published by dk2099


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